Jesus Wept

November 15th was the sixteenth anniversary of my precious mother's death. Admitedly, I was too young to remember anything about her, so the pain I go through missing her is nothing compared to what my brothers and sisters, my dad, and all others who knew her go through. And it is difficult to say that I miss her because how can you miss someone you never knew? But after reading her journals, I feel like I have had a glimpe into her soul and I can read how sacrifically she loved her kids and her husband, how she trusted God with all she had. What I have learned about her makes me feel like I kind of know her. It also gives me this feeling that I missed out on knowing someone really really great and that's not really fair.

Anyways, I was having a difficult day just missing the opportunity to know her. It got to the point where I just said "God, I see that you have brought great things from this, but I don't care. Take them all back and give us our Mom back." Obviously, things don't work that way. But I just felt like a huge part of me was missing because I never got to know my mom. I started reading my Bible for encouragement and nothing seemed to help. I started thinking about when Lazarus died. Christ could have easily been there to heal him when he was sick and save Mary and Martha that pain. When He arrived, after talking to Martha, Mary found Him and fell at His feet weeping. And simply said, "If you would have been here, he would not have died." Then it said that Christ was "moved in spirit and troubled". He wasnt sad that Lazarus was dead, because He knew that He was going to raise him from the dead. He was moved by Mary's pain. He knew that this was going to happen, but seeing her in that state of pain was what troubled him. But it was interesting what He did. He didn't offer excuses for Mary's pain, He didn't apologize, and He didn't offer to take it away. He simply felt her pain with her. He wept with her. He was right there and simply cried with her. He walked through that painful season WITH her. Then he raised Lazarus from the dead.

A lot of times, the only thing that gets me through a painful season is knowing that Christ is walking with me. He has such deep compassion for me and He experiences my pain as if it were His own. This pain that Martha and Mary went through was all to show the glory of God and to bring others to Him. So, while a lot of times I just get frustrated and feel like it isn't worth it, I am reminded that God has a purpose in this. And that while God is soveriegn, He is also good. The Lord is good, and I will walk through whatever painful season I need to in order to show others His goodness and love. That is the cost of being a believer. But the reward is just too much to pass up.

I also am reminded by this story that as believers, we are to be imitating Christ in all we do. Do we have compassion like this? Are we moved to action by other's circumstances? Do we walk through seasons with others and feel their pain as if it were our own? I know it is something I struggle with a lot. Compassion is not my strong point.

Tast and see that the LORD IS GOOD..